Everyone Needs an Ugly Cry Here and There

Best Ugly Crier ever, Claire Danes.

Last week I let a little thing like the way I looked (or didn’t look) to push me into the Ugly Cry Territory. We’ve all been there and it feels nice to get it out and over with (thanks for humoring me!). I think I cried more over all the changes that I have gone through in the last two months: moving countries, settling in an unfamiliar city, dealing with health insurance instead of not, feeling closer to family but still being so far, and more. It’s a lot to deal with and I really hadn’t let myself deal with these changes until now.

I can see the end of the tunnel soon: our furniture (nothing broken, I hope!) will all be here by the end of the month, we should be unpacked and settled by February some time, and we are slowly getting things ready for baby. Feeling unprepared for baby is the worst. As much as I tell myself that there’s still time to prep things it doesn’t feel like it. But there is time! And I am just going to relax and take everything one day at a time. The brunt of the move is behind us and we just need to work on settling in, making friends and prepping for little guy. Won’t be too hard, right? Right?! Thankfully my mother is coming to help me. At the very least she will distract me. Moms are good at that.

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Week 27 and 28- Transatlantic and Cross-country travel!

We made it.

20121211-081839.jpg Outside the hotel, along the bay.

After a 7.5 hour flight to Newark, followed by a 6.5 hour flight to San Francisco a few days later, we finally made it “home”. Hoping that the vacation feel will soon come to an end. Staying at an extended stay hotel doesn’t help matters. But we are two seconds from closing a deal on a place to live. So living out of a suitcase may soon come to an end and I can start nesting!! Wheee!

20121211-082345.jpg Here I am at 27 weeks. Looking quite round.

Sadly my diet has suffered in the last two weeks. I am finding it quite hard to make good decisions. But today I skipped on the greasy complimentary breakfast and went for cereal and a yoghurt. Baby steps…

20121211-082946.jpg 28 weeks as of Monday. Time is flying.

I don’t know how much weight I’ve gained but I don’t feel overly pudgier than usual. My belly has gotten bigger but I can’t see any other changes. To keep any extra weight gain at bay I’m going to start walking along…wait for it…the bay! There’s a great path along the bay and I am looking forward to seeing how far I can go.

As for Chexie, his movements are getting quite forceful and constant. He used to mostly move in the early morning and at night, like clockwork. Now it’s throughout the day. I don’t mind, I quite enjoy his jabs. I guess his internal clock is messed up like mine. I have been waking up at 3AM. Not sure if it’s the pregnancy or jet-lag. But luckily I’ve been getting enough sleep to carry me into the evening. At 5PM I just want to pass out. If I make it past 9PM I’m golden.

So that’s that. We are in the States and looking forward to feeling/getting settled!

Exciting times ahead

A month or so after Greg and I got married he got offered a position to work at his current office in London. We quickly put the house of the market, sold it in a day and packed up and moved here. It was that fast, that crazy. We started newlywed life in London and have been here ever since. Now almost three years later we are getting ready to have a baby and move house again. Y’all, we are moving!

Taken by me during my first visit to San Francisco in 2008

I was a bit hesitant at the prospect of moving to California but now I am so, like, WHATEVER. When it comes to milestones in our lives, Greg and I never do anything easy. Life is an adventure, and we do it big! Greg was offered a position in the San Francisco office last night and he accepted. BRING ON THE SUNSHINE!

I am still disappointed that we can’t pick up where our life in Austin ended. We were so happy there. I was torn when it came to leave to London because everything about Austin was so so awesome. At least we will be able to visit. There’s always that. And I have already started to think of all the things I will miss in London: my sewing friends, the fabric shops, all the green spaces, being surrounded by gorgeous architecture and all the history. Ack! I can’t think about it. I mustn’t.

So, California. Yeah. Wow. We will be there by mid-December. I’m still in shock. Kind of like when I found out I was pregnant 🙂 It’ll take a few days to set in, I’m sure.

Week 19-Something’s finally happening!

19 weeks and 1 day
Ack! I just noticed that the lines on this shirt/dress do not line up! My sewist’s eyes are ruining my Ready-to-Wear clothes for me.

How far along| 19 weeks and 1 day.
Baby’s Size| Chexie is the size of an heirloom tomato. I don’t eat tomatoes so I don’t have a clue as to how big an heirloom one is. But what I do know is the my baby bump is catching up to my chubby bump (above the baby bump). Woo hoo!
Weight Gain| Four pounds less than when we found out we were pregnant. Here’s hoping the weight gain stays minimal, once it starts packing on, 10-15 pounds. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that even though I’ve lost weight I haven’t lost it in the usual places, like my upper abs (I swear I have some!). It seems to have actually gotten fatter. Ugh. But it’s all for the greater good: breastfeeding energy storage.
Sleep| It has gotten better. I definitely have no trouble falling back to sleep after a late night bathroom break if I exhaust myself the day before. Sunday we walked for 90 minutes and I was exhausted by the time we went to bed.
Clothes| Same ‘ole same ‘ole.
Cravings| I’m not craving anything at the moment. If someone mentions something yummy or if I see it on TV, that’s when I crave it. So yeah, nothing in particular.
Food Aversions| Leftovers never sound nice lately. And I am a lover of leftovers!
Symptoms| Holy heck. I’ve been having some short, but sharp pains along my lower abdomen. I’m not alarmed because they are not constant and signs point to round ligament pain.
Movement| Chexie is most active between 5AM and 9AM. I still can only feel it mostly when I place my hands on my tummy. I am looking forward to that karate chop to the gut soon.
Belly Button| Not out.
Gender| In less than one week we find out, assuming Chexie flashes the goods.
Highlight of the Week| Going on a lovely picnic with my husband. It was nice to have some alone time outside of the flat and just enjoy each other’s company in nature. Corny, right? But the truth.
What I miss| Allergy meds. What wouldn’t I give for some Sudafed and Claritin. I get really bad sinus related earaches when my allergies are at their worst. And I’ve been at my worst these past few weeks. The pain just adds to the trouble of staying asleep.

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Planning for baby is made difficult when you don’t know where you will be in the new year. You see, we decided we would move home before our visas expire in March if we got pregnant before then. Being close to our family and friends, having the support system, is very important to us. London has never quite felt like home. Home for us is Austin, Texas, where we met, built our lives together and made strong friendships. Unfortunately it’s up in the air if it will be our home again. My husband has invested quite a few years with his current company and would love to continue with them. He’s been working on a job transfer for the last couple of months but we’re still no closer to knowing where we stand, or where we will be come baby time. To open up the options he has applied to offices in Seattle, Raleigh, and San Francisco. San Francisco seems to be the best bet because the company is based there and offers the best chances for a job opening.

But San Francisco would feel like an extension of the life we live in London: high cost of living, still far from family and no support system. The only up side is that it’s in the States and travel won’t be as troublesome and costly for people when they visit.

So you can see my hesitation when it comes to prepping for baby. I’d love to sign us up for prenatal classes and go to mommy meetups. But where will we be doing these things? I’d love to shop for bargains and start hoarding baby stuff. But what if we have to pay for the move ourselves? The last thing we need is to add more bulk. **Sigh** So that leaves me making cute little baby stuff like bibs, blankets and clothes.

There’s always the option of staying here, extending our visa and moving later. But the thought of having to deal with the U.S. Embassy to register the baby for a birth certificate and passport, waiting for it to have its vaccinations so it can fly, ugh…Gives me indigestion just thinking about it. Maybe I’m a sap but I want my family there for the birth and a few weeks after. And sadly the answer isn’t simply to have them fly in. My family just can’t afford the costs of international travel. And one thing I’ve come to realize is that even though my family can be crazy at times, they are always there for me and have made me the woman I am today. And I so miss them.

Here’s hoping we get some news on the pending move (or stay?) soon! The suspense is getting to me. I want to prep a nursery dammit!